Leaving

 It was 10:51 pm on Saturday, February 4 and I walked into my son Zach's room.  

"Honey, I think we need to leave, dad isn't doing good tonight."

"What's going on, tell me!" 

"Dad is alluding to killing himself and me, we just need to get out. Avery is asleep and I don't know what to do." 

Zach said, "I'll get ready, you go get Avery up."

"I can't I have to be in the living room if he comes in there, he's checked on me twice already." 

"Ok mom, you go in there and I'll get me and Avery ready."

My son has only been 18 for a few months and was going to save his family.  I saw him go into his brother's room and close the door.  I went into my bathroom and grabbed my suitcase and hid it in front of the couch and then sat back in my chair.  I had been sitting there for 2 hours trying to figure out how to get out of the house.  I saw Zach go back into his room and I followed him in there.  I sat down on his bed and told him I didn't know how to get out. My car was in the garage and when we opened the garage door his dad would get a text that it was opening.  That's when I remembered Zach's car was in the driveway.  We could go in his car.  When we opened the front door he would get a text we were on the porch.  If we went out the back, the cameras would alert him and we'd have to go in front of the bedroom window.  

"Zach, I don't know how to get us out." 

He sent me to get his keys and told me not to worry we could get out. I grabbed my work laptop and my journal and put them in a bag in front of the couch to hide them and sat back in my chair.  Then it hit me, how we could do it.  How we could get out without him knowing. I ran into Zach's room.

"We can unplug the wifi, then he won't know!  But we have to wait until right before we leave because if it's out too long he's going to get a text the wifi is out from something."  

Zach told me to go back into the living room and be ready.  Avery came out with his bag and walked in front of our bedroom and made a noise.  I almost had a heart attack.  I got him back into the living room and told him to be really quiet and wait by the front door.  I saw Zach's riffle on the chair.  I gave it back to him and told him to go unload it and put it up.  He told me he was getting us out and his dad wouldn't hurt me.  I told him no, go unload it and put it up.  We would unplug the wifi and that would buy us time.  It would be ok.  He did what I asked.  Then told me to let him know and he'd unplug the wifi.  We were ready.  

Avery was by the door, I grabbed my bags and gave Zach the signal.  He rushed back into the room grabbing his stuff and I got the door open and Avery and Zach out.  I made them go in front of me. We hurried to Zach's car and opened the back door to throw the bags in.  I told Avery to jump in the car. He opened the back door and saw the bags so he got into the front.  I just sat on the bags and Zach took off.  I told him to not make any noise leaving.  

As we pulled off the land onto the road, I broke down.  I started sobbing.  I'd held it together for two and a half hours after the scariest night of my life. As we started down the road, Zach told me he was going to call the police.  He said that was his dad and he was threatening to hurt himself and he needed to make sure he was ok.  I begged him not to.  I told him his dad would get so mad we couldn't call the police. I said we would know when he woke up and we could call then if he was still bad.  He told me he would think about it.  We made it into town and Zach stopped at the grocery store.  Everything was closed.  He told me we would move the bags and get situated.  I got out of the car and he said he was calling the police.  I told him ok. 

"My name is Zachery and we had to flee from our house and my dad tonight because he's threatening to hurt himself and my mom." 

I know he talked for a while after that but have no memory of what was said. At some point, the phone was given to me and I'm not sure what I said.  I do remember asking the dispatcher if we needed to stay in the parking lot or if we could keep going to my sister-in-law's house about 2 hours away.  She told me she would ask the deputy and call me back.  

I made Zach turn the car around so we could see anyone coming.  It was so cold.  I couldn't stop shaking.  The dispatcher called back and said the deputy said to keep going and get as far away as we could.  He would call me for my statement after they did a welfare check.  

I remember her asking me if he would hurt the police.  If he ever talked about hurting police.  I said no, he was a retired deputy sheriff.  He wouldn't hurt them, he would tell them I was crazy.  She asked if he had any guns. I said yes and she wanted to know what kind.  I said all of them.  

We got back on the road and were heading to safety.